"my hands are at your throat....and i think i hate you.... [entries|friends|calendar] .leigh. [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

"a crow left of the murder..." [03 Feb 2004|07:40pm] [ mood | new music ] i have finally purchased the new incubus cd titled "a crow left of the murder..." hehehe! im sooo happy. while i was driving i got to listen to the first 4 songs and i am in LOVE with them already. im gonna listen to the rest before bed cuz i have to watch american idol ( and laugh my ass off ) with my mum!! and then do homework....grrr. 3 comment ::comment

[18 Jan 2004|09:30pm] [ mood | f u ck yOU ] [ music | .nickelback. ( just like a PAPERbackNOVEL ) ] i hung out with amy and jill tonight. we went to i <3 ny pizza. it was delicious. they remodeled the store so its alot bigger than before. then we went to cup a joe and amy got coffee. uh we drove around and landed at target. they bought candy and we ate it. then we went to mcdonalds for no reason. we saw foote and olivia. hadnt seen them in a while. they got drinks and we sat and drank them. im fucking poor and have no money. h00ray for losers like me. then we went to jills and sat for a few. and amy took me home. i love being with them i really do. but im so depressed. this whole jordan thing is killing me. ive wanted to cry all night long. i called him and he said hed call me after he ate dinner and showered. but guess what. did he call? no. did he even think about calling? I BET YOU HE DIDNT. hes avoiding me. hed rather watch football and get stoned and hang with my brother and all those guys then hang out with me for like an hour. whatever thats fine. ill just keep crying cuz im a fucking messed up idiot. i want to die. and all the guys ive been flirting with lately, i feel like they dont mean anything to me. all i want is jordan. and he doesnt want me. 2 comment ::comment

[17 Jan 2004|11:23pm] [ music | random shit on the radio ] i woke up at like 12 today. showered and got ready. grabbed amanda "o" and we went to the mall to meet up with my parents. my mum bought me Stila "kitten" eye shadow - which is one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. then we got chickfila and i took her back to her work. so i then went home and fixed my makeup and got ready for work. it wasnt busy at all. well not really. and the customers i had were major assholes. they were confusing the shit out of me and i couldnt take it. everything i had put down that they wanted they were like NOOOO THATS NOT WHAT I SAID i wanted to fucking kill them all. ahhhhhhh. so at one point i was like ready to cry. so i had a few smoke breaks. my co workers are really cool. i heart joey alot. hes mad gorgeous and has tatoos and omg!!! his body is nice as hell. but i think he has a gf. dammit. ryans a sweetie and katie thinks he likes me. haha maybe? i helped close so i like just got home. they sprayed me with the hose so i was like soaking wet. haha. i was mad. i fucked up my milkshake i was making and it went everywhere. haha oh man they laughed at me. lots of cleaning and blasting random music in like 3 different rooms. good times tho. im exhausted. and i have to work at 11am tomorrow. but i had talked to jordan before work and he was like ill call you when i get off. stupid stupid me left my phone in the locker and didnt get to see he called at 10...i found out at 11. alskdfja;lskdjfas;ldkjfa. WHAT DUMB FUCKING LUCK. so i called my brother and jordans over there but i know he wont tell jordan to call me so whatever. im so sick of this shit. then joe came in tonight and he wants to chill with me like tomorrow. ahhhhh. so does ben. who else wants to hang out to make things more complicated?!?!?! haha. omg. i cant take it. whatever im going to bed.... 2 comment ::comment

[16 Jan 2004|10:26pm] [ mood | hehe ] [ music | "hard to handle" - the black crowes - ] i just got home from work. tonight was fun. at first it was really freaking slow. then it got really crazy and i started fucking up but hey im still new!! haha. jeff this one guy who works there who basically hired me was there but wasnt working and he was like here talk to him...and he handed me his cell phone. haha it was JOE. i met joe way back when i was in 9th grade and we hung out some. i think hes like 19 or so now. hes way cool and HOTTTT. hehe. nate, seth, this kid ryan, and locke came in to visit me!!!! i felt soooo special. :). and then amy and jillian came in like 5 minutes later and that made me feel ten times more loved!! haha. i got nate to buy me some fries cuz i get a discount but i didnt have money. so i ate some with the boys and some with the girls. then ben, a guy i work with, hes a cutie started flirting with me. and we started talking. and he was like lemme get your number later tonight. i was like ok!!! haha. hes 20. :). go me! so like joes suppost to call me tonight and so is ben. oh yeah oh yeah. so i called jordan at like 8 when i was on break smoking and then went back to work and he had called back. but i am gonna call him again in a few. i really wanna hang out with him. i wanna hang with joe and ben and all those guys too. they pry wanna get me drunk as hell! haha. oooh ohhh. well yeah im gonna get out of my work clothes and put something else on and see what is going on after that. xoxo. 2 comment ::comment

[15 Jan 2004|04:31pm] [ mood | give me something to DO!! ] [ music | t h u r s d a y ] so i didnt go to school today. haha. i was just really exhausted from this past week. ive been stayin up really late and my whole schedule has been off whack but in a good way. haha. so today i slept until like 1pm. it was refreshing. meredith got me some chick fil a - and now im sooooooo full i cant even breathe. haha but man oh man was it good. now im sitting here typing and thinking im going to go insane because i have nothing to do at all. nothing. i really wish i had money to buy makeup. i really am craving some new makeup. cant wait to get paid in like 2 weeks or something. i feel enormously fat right now. my belly is sticking out. eeeeewwwww gross. me and amy decided we want to get sexy and healthy and like diet and exercise so we can wear hot sexy fashionable stuff and look hot. haha. so therefore i need to stop eating junk food, drink more water, and exercise alot. i wanna like join a gym or the ymca. im also gonna try to save up for a down payment on a car!! cuz then my parents will help me out after that. and i want to be able to buy really awesome stuff. so i can rock harder than i already do. haha yeah right....god im so bored. someone save me from this. or my mind will deteriorate. (who knows if i spelled that word right....) 1 comment ::comment

[15 Jan 2004|02:49pm] [ mood | okay ] Give me one reason to stay here - and I'll turn right back around Give me one reason to stay here - and I'll turn right back around Because I don't want leave you lonely But you got to make me change my mind Baby I got your number and I know that you got mine But you know that I called you, I called too many times You can call me baby, you can call me anytime But you got to call me Give me one reason to stay here - and I'll turn right back around Give me one reason to stay here - and I'll turn right back around Because I don't want leave you lonely But you got to make me change my mind I don't want no one to squeeze me - they might take away my life I don't want no one to squeeze me - they might take away my life I just want someone to hold me and rock me through the night This youthful heart can love you and give you what you need This youthful heart can love you and give you what you need But I'm too old to go chasing you around Wasting my precious energy Give me one reason to stay here - and I'll turn right back around Give me one reason to stay here - and I'll turn right back around Because I don't want leave you lonely But you got to make me change my mind Baby just give me one reason - Give me just one reason why Baby just give me one reason - Give me just one reason why I should stay Because I told you that I loved you And there ain't no more to say _ _ tracy chapman _ _ comment

"aw naw hell naw yall went up and done it...." [14 Jan 2004|11:23pm] [ mood | amy ] [ music | "aw naw" - nappy roots - ] after like 2 bad days in a row i finally had a really good day. well night actually. me and amy went to starbucks were she got coffee and i ate mcdonalds french fries that were realllly salty and fattening. haha. i didnt want coffee i just wanted to be "there" in that atmosphere. we always have a good time there. then we went to the mall and found the damn cutest clothes ever!!!!! we saw stuff in delias, 579, deb, and wet seal. oh man. plus the hot pink high heels i want a journeys. i would kill for them! haha i cant wait to get paid. they will be mine. i dont care how much they hurt my damn feet. im buying them!!!! so we walked around and talked and caught up on each others past week. we spend like half an hour in deb cuz amy couldnt decide on what shirt to buy!!!! haha it was great. she finally got a black and white striped off the shoulder shirt! its soooo amy. then we drove back to my house and we ate cupcakes and crackers and drank diet dr pepper and smoked alot. haha we watched fuse and mtv2 cuz i HAD to see the new INCUBUS video. omg i fucking love it. the video is amazing. and brandon boyd is the sexiest man alive. ever. and his hair is sooooo long and s e x y ! omg. id do him in a HEARTBEAT. then we watched all these rap videos cuz we love 50 cent. hes so cute. <3. and all these other old school rap videos came on like busta rhymes and bone thugs. oh man!!! we couldnt stop laughing. especially during the u2 video for "sunday bloody sunday" on vh1 classic. bono has a mullet and hes prancing around like a damn fairy in tight black pants and doing insane 80s dances. hahahaha. i almost cried laughing so hard at amys reinactment. ahhhhhahaha. then she left me around 11pm - ish. that made me sad. oh yeah im not going to school tomorrow. its my last day with out the parentals - and my bro and meredith here...so im stayin home. me and meredith are gonna sleep in and then go to the mall. hopefully ill call jordan and hell come see me cuz my bro wont be there. as i said before....hes afraid of my BROTHER. so i was half right. thats what meredith found out tonight. ahhhhh why does this have to happen?!?! fuckin-a-. xoxo. p.s. - TUPAC is not dead. hes alive and in G UNIT. hahahaha. comment

[14 Jan 2004|03:00pm] [ mood | :( :( ] [ music | l e d z e p p e l i n ] so today, due to lack of parental units, and cuz i drank almost a whole bottle of cheap ass arbor mist blackberry wine - i yet again woke up extremely late this morning. i got up at 6:15. ahhhhhh. luckily i had showered and got all cute last night cuz we had people over. so this morning all i had to do was wash my face and put makeup on my ugly face. i looked like trash - i felt like trash. i wore my vans - pink and black ones - that i always get compliments on. cuz i love those shoes. and i wore my "L" shirt and my independent sweatshirt. i was a bum. i did good in german today. got 2 extra credit euros. hmmm what else happend? oh yeah - NOTHING!! i wanna take a nap. but i wanna see jordan who fucking didnt come over last night when i called him like i was supost to. grrr. he hates me. i know it. i hate me. 2 comment ::comment

[13 Jan 2004|09:35pm] [ mood | GRRRRRRRR ] i suck at life 13 comment ::comment

[13 Jan 2004|04:21pm] [ mood | things are good ] when i got home from school meredith was here sitting around and such and we just started having another hour or so long conversation. shes awesome. i really like her alot. shes so cool. weve been talking about life and everything. and im in a really good mood..... 1 comment ::comment

"i have become comfortably numb...." [12 Jan 2004|10:28pm] [ mood | alright alright alright ] [ music | "comfortably numb" - pink floyd - ] today was good. i dressed up cute and retro. i wore my fake pearls and my black pointy shoes. which omg omg killed my feet. i cant wear them anymore. but beauty is PAIN. seriously. after school i came home and me and meredith, my bros girlfriend talked for like 2 hours straight about how she met him and all this other random stuff. it was really fun. i like her alot. shes sooooo sweet! <3. then i had to get ready for work. and went in at 5pm. it was slow for a while but some how i made it through and kept busy. i didnt do as good as yesterday on the register but hey whatever! matt, one of my managers is really nice and hes cool with me still gettin the hang of it. so i came home at 9 and started my homework and ate some chicken. eric tried to make a "romantic" dinner for them. haha grilled chicken and stuff. haha it was sweet. and it was really tasty! so now im gonna have meredith dye my hair as soon as her mtv show is over. im excited! i might even call jordan tonight.... comment

"she never loved me - why should anyone?...." [11 Jan 2004|08:03pm] [ mood | cheerful ] [ music | "GeT FrEE" - THe VinES - ] so today was my first day on the job. i was incredibly nervous. only because i hadnt worked in over 2 months and i didnt know any of the people that worked there. but everyone was really really nice to me. i like them. nerissa and jen trained me on register until i got the hang and started taking peoples orders myself. its so much easier than it was at dustys...like you want such and such and you HIT THE BUTTON and all that - but its easy. i just have to memorize the menu and know the register good. so ill be ok i think. i worked for 4 hours. i didnt have a cigarette - only cuz i dont think they know i smoke and i didnt ask for a break. i wasnt really doing shit so it was ok with me. haha. so i got home and smoked - yay! - and then i called my brother. hes coming eventually with meredith i think and hes bringing me a frozen pizza. ha. he has to stay with me cuz the parentals arent here. i miss them alot tho. its really weird - ive been home alone all day - i feel really grown up. i was responsible and went to my job. and came home and i dunno i feel adult - like. haha. and then i called jordan and he was at work so we talked for like 2 minutes and he said hed call me later tonight. h00ray. now i have to do geometry and english homework. what a bummer. i got back to work at 5pm tomorrow. <3. 5 comment ::comment

"we're on a road to nowhere...." [11 Jan 2004|10:38am] [ mood | cold ] [ music | "road to NOWHERE" - the talking heads - ] i woke up with a mini headache. but i drank orange juice ( oj is like RJ haha amanda ) and ate a bananna and smoked so i felt better. bio dome was on one of the hbo channels and i thought of traynham cuz thats like his favorite movie and it is him all the way. haha. <3. right now im listening to crazy 80s songs on those 900 music channels...its good stuff. my sister is about to leave me to go to work back in greensboro. so ill be alone til i go to work - which i am nervous about. errrrghh ahhhh. she says ill be fine tho. lets hope so! my brothers suppost to watch me until like thursday night since my parents are gone and i dunno if hes coming over here to stay or if im going to his apartment. either way its straight with me. it will be fun. its so FUCKING cold outside. haha i cant take it and its like the same temperature inside my house! ahhh. my down stairs doesnt HEAT UP EVER. well i have many things to accomplish so i will go do them now. p.s. - the talking heads are fucking awesome. 2 comment ::comment

[10 Jan 2004|11:37pm] [ mood | huhhhhhhhh>???LASDJf? ] [ music | grease and toeth er musicals ] SO ME AND My sister at e at chilis in briear creek. she orederd a milller light anx i waslike can i have a shirley stemmple? and she was like =9 can i seee uyouir ID -= i was like whatttttt and i lbushed cuz i oreded spirte and greneadine - i wals like its not alococohoilc. and she laughed. haha we had a gooooodddddd maeal. i loved it. eve tho i tmade my TUMMMMMMMMY HURT like whoa so i had to yeah. then wewe ent to my breothers apartment. TOM WAS there and he and my bro waws high as shit...............hahahahaha. so i stared drinking bud light and i had alot and i was laguhing soooooo MUCH and jill was dyhing in laughter. hahaaaahaahahha. tom me andjill talked bout MUSICals and how they are funny . tom ehates them!!!!!!! he was like going on and odn in a mono louge and its was great!!!!!! me and jill almostg dired laughing. i was bout ot cry.!!!!!!! hahahahahahha. and then james bond with the under watner fighgin scene - hahahahah tom was like FAGS IN SHORRRRRT IGHT UNGERWEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHHA. OMG. YOU HDA DTO BE THERE. then tom anmd nme talked bout jordan. hbe was on his way over. tom said jordan told him all abouth what hppend new yeras. heheheheheheeh. and he came over and i was like WE HVE TO TALK...........s o we talked outside. i was like i ve callled you all weeek. he asaid he wa s at pulices and ht he didnt get much signal. hahah whateev. so i sadid call me in 2 hrs. and well talk . and then you vcum over tomommorw cuz welll ill suckyouyr dick. and m;yl sis leaves aerly . so he can cum over. so i called him and he said hell call me wooossooon. hahaha im so happy. i lvoe amy black htoooo. xoxoxoxooxoxoxo. 4 comment ::comment

[10 Jan 2004|04:37pm] [ mood | good ] [ music | "fame" - david bowie - ] me and my sister went on a search to find her perfect purse. the one she saw in macy's in new york city! so we went to southpoint to look in nordstroms and they didnt carry that brand. she was heart broken. *tear*. so then she wanted the hot fucking pink bra like mine from victorias secret - but they didnt have her size. and she wanted new shoes. but they didnt have the right ones. the mall was a bust! haha. so we went to crabtree where she splurged in sephora!! then we had to go to target cuz i had to buy khaki pants. ewwww disgusting. i hate khakis. but i got ones that are like jean material. and i got hair dye, and light pink nail polish. and then multi colored flash cards for my german vocab words! haha. i want to see amy and andrew today! but i dunno if i will. me, my bro, and sis and maybe his girlfriend might go out to dinner tonight. that would be awesome. xoxo. comment

beware of the woods...west virginia...and inbred cannible monsters... [10 Jan 2004|01:32am] [ mood | ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ] me and my sister just finished the movie "wrong turn". i rented it cuz eliza dushku is in it and shes the sex. i didnt really know what it was about but omg it was freaking scary. and i dont get scared during most movies. they were inbred monster cannibles ( spell check ) who killed tourists in the w. virginia woods. OMG SCARYYYYYYYYYYYYY. haha me and jill were freaking out the whole time and we had to smoke alot of cigarettes. hahaha. but a good movie - just sick! and gory! 2 comment ::comment

[09 Jan 2004|09:33pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | s c r e a m i n g ] amy just dropped me off at home. she picked me up in her new car which is really fucking hot! and we drove to taco bell - cuz we love taco bell. and she showed me her teeth! cuz i hadnt seen her yet with out braces! she looks soooo good! and much older! we enjoyed our meal and then drove over to starbucks to get coffee. i think i got the wrong drink...but i was to scared to return it! haha and i drank it anyway. then we decided to call andrew!!! ( hes such a damn cutie ) and we picked him up and went to cup-a-joe on hillsborough. ( fuck, i never remember how to spell that word.... ) and there we met this guy named alan. hes really awesome and nice. and he has big thick black glasses. he was really fun to talk to. then tipper came and he looked all sophisticated. hehe. me and amy went to the bathroom and had to walk by these old foreign guys and they STARED AND TALKED IN THEIR FOREIGN JIBBERISH. it was soooooo scary. ewww. then we talked some more and me and amy left. we walked around the mall but everything cept like delias and journeys was closed. how lame! on the way to my house amy called andrew and he wouldnt shut up about him having "my pencil" that i let him use for his crossword puzzle. haha. hes so cute. did i mention that?! anyway we are suppost to go see him tomorrow so i i can get my pencil back....hahaha. right.... oh yeah and the parentals are leaving in the morning and my sister is staying with me!!!! haha. wow. im so excited and i just cant hide it!!! ( wow, leigh, that was lame. ) so i wanna do something crazy fun tomorrow night. well see what happens tho!!! haha. xoxo. p.s. - i got the job at back yard burger. 7 comment ::comment

[09 Jan 2004|01:52pm] [ mood | * S N O W * ] its a winter wonderland outside. it hasnt stopped snowing since like 7am! everyone was pissed when they didnt let us out but a damn hour early - but hey its better than nothing. im so glad its the weekend. i have a lot planned and i hope i get to do it all!! ive got to go meet the manager at back yard burger at 2:30 i dunno how long that will last. i really wanna see amy black today! i havent seen here in a few days! i miss her! and i wanna see my brother and his friends - and i think im gonna have hillary and sarah sleep over on saturday night and have them get drunk with me and my sis. who knows tho?!? aight gotta go freshen up. <3. comment

[08 Jan 2004|03:30pm] [ mood | sad ] [ music | "SwaY" - biC rUNgA - ] "Don't stray Don't ever go away I should be much too smart for this You know it gets the better of me Sometimes When you and I collide I fall into an ocean of you Pull me out in time Don't let me drown Let me down I say it's all because of you And here I go Losing my Control I'm practicing your name So I can say it To your face it doesn't Seem right To look you in the eye Let all the things You mean to me Come tumbling out my mouth Indeed it's time Tell you why I say it's Infinitely true Chorus: Say you'll stay Don't come and go Like you do Sway my way Yeah I need to know All about you And there's no cure And no way to be sure Why everythings turned inside out Instilling so much doubt It makes me so tired I feel so uninspired My head is battling with my heart My logic has been torn apart And now It all turns sour Come sweeten Every afternoon Chorus 2X: Its all because of you Its all because of you Now it all turns sour Come sweeten Every afternoon It's time Tell you why I say it's Infinitely true Chorus 2X: Its all because of you Its all because of you Its all because of you." _ bic runga _ comment

[07 Jan 2004|10:00pm] [ mood | - hot damn, its not fair. ] [ music | "GiViNg uP" - SilVERstEiN - ] so my mum says i can not go to the SILVERSTEIN show on friday in greensboro. i am so pissed off. they are one of my favorite bands and shit, they are playin a small club and i might could have had the chance to meet them. but ahhh. whatever. so like my parents are leaving either friday night or saturday to visit my uncle who has cancer down in florida. ( i wish i could go, but it will conflict with school....ahhhhh ) so like i might get to stay with my brother at his place friday night and get fucked up - maybe see jordan? - or if my sis comes home late friday night after work then i can get drunk with her or something. i wanna have someone sleep over with me saturday cuz she'll be here and then we can have fun and watch movies and get drunk. yah, thats all i look forward to lately - being drunk. how sad is that?! things that are uncool. - not calling someone back after they call you alot. - school and homework. - not being able to go to a show. - having CRAMPS from hell. the end. 5 comment ::comment

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